老友记全英文剧本pdf百度云-老友记文本 百度云
男生不了解
What you guys don't understand is...
对我们来说 接吻跟其他部分一样重要
...for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
对，没错
Yeah, right.
真的吗？
You serious?
对
Oh, yeah.
初吻能告诉你所有答案
Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
- 没错 - 我想对我们来说
- Absolutely. - Yeah, I think, for us...
接吻只是开场
...kissing is pretty much like an opening act.
像是你得忍受搞笑艺人那一段
I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through...
才能等到《平克·佛洛伊德》登场
...before Pink Floyd comes out.
对，我们不是不喜欢搞笑艺人
Yeah, and it's not that we don't like the comedian.
但那不是…
It's just that that's not...
我们买票想看的表演
...why we bought the ticket.
听着，问题是
See, the problem is, though...
演唱会结束后，不论表演有多棒
...after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was...
女生还在找搞笑艺人
...you girls are always looking for the comedian again.
我是说我们在车里，对抗塞车
I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...
努力保持清醒
...basically just trying to stay awake.
对，听我的建议 把搞笑艺人找回来
Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian.
不然你会发现自己
Otherwise, you're gonna find yourself...
一个人坐在家里听专辑
...sitting at home listening to that album alone.
我们还在讨论性爱吗？
Are we still talking about sex?
《老友记》 第一季 第2集 超声波检查
Friends S01E02: The One with the Sonogram at the End
（主演：詹妮弗·安妮斯顿）
（主演：柯特妮·考克斯）
（主演：丽莎·库卓）
（主演：马特·勒布朗）
（主演：马修·派瑞）
（主演：大卫·修蒙）
（史前历史博物馆）
不，真的很不错
ROSS: No, it's good. It is good.
你不觉得她看起来有点愤怒吗？
It's just that, doesn't she seem a little angry?
她有问题
Well, she has issues.
（制片：塔德·史帝文斯）
是吗？
Does she?
他跑出去跟别的女人胡搞
He's out banging other women over the head with a club...
她待在家里 想除掉地毯上乳齿象的味道
...while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet.
玛莎，他们是原始人
Marsha, see, these are cave people.
好吧，这才是他们的问题
Okay, they have issues like:
〝天啊，冰河距离有点近〞 懂吗？
"Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close." See?
说到问题，那不是你的前妻吗？
Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?
- 不 - 没错，卡萝
- No, no. - Yes, it is. Carol, hi.
对，没错
ROSS: Okay. Yes. Yes, it is.
我们何不等到冰河时期再谈？
How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age?
（即将开幕，史前生活展）
（编剧：玛莎·卡夫曼 大卫·肯蓝）
（导演：詹姆斯·柏洛斯）
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
好吧
So...
你看起来很不错
You look great.
我讨厌那样
I hate that.
抱歉，谢谢，你看起来也很不错
Sorry. Thanks. You look good too.
在这里所有可以…
Well, you know, in here, anyone who...
直立的人…
...stands erect...
- 怎么样？你还是… - 女同志？
- So, what's new? Still a... - A lesbian?
好吧
Well...
这种事谁都说不准
You never know.
你家人还好吧？
How's, um...? How's the family?
玛蒂的疑心病还是很重
Marty's still totally paranoid.
- 还有… - 卡萝，你来这里做什么？
- Oh, and... - Carol, why are you here, Carol?
- 我怀孕了 - 怀孕？
- I'm pregnant. - Pregnant.
看起来她不急着离开
Oh. Looks like she didn't leave in such a hurry after all.
我想这一集的《三人行》
I think this is the episode of Three's Company...
发生了一点误会
...where's there's some kind of misunderstanding.
我看过这一集了
Then I've already seen this one.
你喝完了吗？谢谢
Are you through with that? Thanks.
抱歉，狼吞虎咽害我速度变慢
Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
这是谁的纸团？
Whose little ball of paper is this?
那应该是我的
Oh, that would be mine.
我写字条给自己，后来又不需要
See, I wrote a note to myself, then I didn't need it.
我把它揉成纸团 现在我真的很想死
So I balled it up and now I wish I was dead.
她已经拍过靠枕了 摩妮卡，你已经拍过…
She already fluffed that pillow. Monica, you know, you already fluffed...
没关系的
But it's fine.
听着，抱歉
Look, I'm sorry.
我不想给他们能攻击我的地方
I don't want to give them any more ammunition than they have.
对，我们知道父母会多么挑剔
Yes, we know how cruel a parent can be...
小孩家的靠枕太扁了
...about the flatness of a child's pillow.
摩妮卡
Monica? Hi. Um...
摩妮卡，你吓到我了
Monica, um, you're scaring me.
你神经兮兮的，非常可怕
I mean, you're, like, all chaotic and twirly, you know?
那不是件好事
Not in a good way.
对，冷静下来
Yeah, calm down.
每次他们来这里，你不会看到罗斯 神经兮兮的，非常可怕
You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
那是因为我爸妈认为 罗斯绝不会犯错
That's because, as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong.
他是我们家的王子
You see, he's the prince.
显然我出生前 他们举行过非常重要的仪式
Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
呃 呃 呃
Ew, ew, ew.
- 什么？ - 丑裸男在用瘦腿器
- What? - Ugly Naked Guy got a ThighMaster.
呕
Ew.
- 谁看到我的订婚戒指了？ - 对，它真的很漂亮
- Has anybody seen my engagement ring? - Yeah, it's beautiful.
天啊
Oh, God. Oh, God.
- 天啊 - 不，别碰那个
- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. - No, don't touch that.
我很气明天得把它还给他
Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough having to give it back to him.
贝瑞，记得我吗？ 我是在你家人面前
"Hi, Barry, remember me? I'm the girl...
伤了你心的女孩
...that stomped on your heart in front of your entire family"
天啊，现在我得归还戒指 戒指却不见了
Oh, God. Now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring...
那让情况变得更复杂
...which makes it so much harder.
别紧张，瑞秋 我们会找到它的，对吧？
Easy, Rach, we'll find it. Won't we?
- 对 - 好吧，听着
- Oh, yeah. - Okay, look.
你最后一次戴上它 是什么时候的事？
When did you have it on last?
或许就在她把它弄丢之前
Doy. Probably right before she lost it.
现在的人很难开得起玩笑
You don't get a lot of "doy" these days.
我知道今天早上我还戴着它
I know I had it this morning.
我知道我在厨房里还戴着它
I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
在晚餐里？
Dinah?
别生气
Oh, don't be mad.
- 不可能 - 对不起
- You didn't. - Oh, I'm sorry.
我交代你做一件事
I gave you one job.
看看那些面条有多直
Oh, but look how straight those noodles are.
摩妮卡，那样子无法在千层面里 找到订婚戒指的
Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagna.
我没办法那么做
I just can't do it.
兄弟们
Boys?
轮到我们上了
We're going in.
嗨
Hi.
你似乎不太开心
Oh, that is not a happy "hi."
卡萝怀孕了
Carol's pregnant.
我找到了
Oh, I found it.
什么？
Well, what...? What?
对
Yeah.
再多撑个两小时
Do that for another two hours...
你的处境会跟我一样
...you might be where I am right about now.
原来靠枕有那个功能，摩妮卡
Kind of puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon?
你打算怎么办？
Well, now, how do you fit into this whole thing?
卡萝说她跟苏珊都希望我能参与
Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved.
如果我觉得为难也可以不参与
But if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.
基本上由我来决定
Basically, it's totally up to me.
她太棒了，我想念她
She is so great. I miss her.
她说的参与是什么意思？
What does she mean by "involved"?
我想你完成最重要的工作了
I mean, presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
她们要我明天
Anyway, they want me to go down to this...
陪她们去做超声波检查
...sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
你打算怎么办？
So, what are you gonna do?
我不知道
I have no idea.
不论我怎么做，我还是要当爸爸了
No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father.
千层面已经毁了，对吧？
Well, this is still ruined, right?
玛莎路格温的女儿要打电话给你
Oh. Martha Lugwin's daughter is gonna call you.
那是什么咖喱的味道？
Mm. What's that curry taste?
就是咖喱
Curry.
唔
Mm.
我觉得很棒，真的
I think they're great. I really do.
还记得路格温家吧？
You remember the Lugwins?
大女儿曾暗恋你，对吧？
The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
她们都暗恋他
They all had a thing for him.
妈
Oh, Mom.
对不起 这个女孩为什么要打电话给我？
I'm sorry. Why is this girl going to call me?
她刚毕业 想在餐饮界或食品界做事
Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking or food...
我不知道
...or I don't know.
总之我跟她说你开了一家餐厅
Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant, so...
不，妈，我没有开餐厅 我在餐厅里工作
No, Mom. I don't have a restaurant. I work in a restaurant.
他们不必知道那么多
Well, they don't have to know that.
罗斯，麻烦你过来帮我弄意大利面
Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti.
好的
Yes.
我们要吃意大利面，那真是…
Oh, we're having spaghetti. That's...
太轻松了
...easy.
我知道听起来我真的很自私
I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish on my part...
你打算提起宝宝跟女同志的事吗？
...but were you planning on bringing up the whole babylesbian thing?
我想那能帮我挡些
Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
瑞秋打算怎么过生活？ 我们在俱乐部遇到她爸妈
What that Rachel did to her life. We ran into her parents at the club.
他们似乎很难过
They were not playing very well.
我不想告诉你们 他们花了多少钱办婚礼
I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding...
但四万块是一大笔钱
...but $40,000 is a lot of money.
至少她有机会在婚礼上甩了男人
Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.
- 那是什么意思？ - 没事
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
- 那只是一种说法 - 不，不是的
- It's an expression. - No, it's not.
别听
Don't listen to your mother.
你很独立 你一直都是如此
You're independent and you always have been.
即使你小时候胖嘟嘟的
Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby...
没有朋友，你还是过得很好
...and you had no friends, you were just fine.
你一个人在房里看书玩拼图
You'd read alone in your room. And your puzzles...
听着，像罗斯这样的人 必须追求成功
Look, there are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars.
他到博物馆工作，准备出版论文
With his museum and his papers getting published.
其他人则是安于现状
Other people are satisfied with staying where they are.
我要说的是这些人永远不会得癌症
I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
我看到报道说这些女人想那么做 谢天谢地
And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God...
我们的小摩妮卡没有那样的问题
...our little Harmonica doesn't seem to have that problem.
罗斯，你还好吗？
So, Ross, what's going on with you?
有任何故事吗？ 没有消息或趣事要跟父母分享？
Any stories? No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
好吧
Okay, okay.
听着，我知道你们一直很好奇
Ahem. Look, I, uh... I realize you guys have been wondering...
我跟卡萝到底是怎么了？
...what exactly happened between Carol and me.
情况是这样的
And so, well, here's the deal.
卡萝是女同志
Carol's a lesbian.
她跟一个叫苏珊的女人住在一起
She's living with a woman named Susan.
她怀了我的孩子
She's pregnant with my child.
她跟苏珊要一起抚养孩子
And she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
你早就知道了？
And you knew about this?
（中央咖啡厅）
你们的爸妈真的有那么难过？
Your folks are really that bad, huh?
他们可是专家
Well, you know, these people are pros.
他们知道自己在做什么 愿意花时间
They know what they're doing. They take their time.
不做完誓不甘休
They get the job done.
天啊，我知道俗话说 人是无法换父母的
Boy, I know they say that you can't change your parents.
天啊，如果可以的话 我想跟你换父母
Boy, if you could, I'd want yours.
我得去尿尿
Must pee.
这比你们是双胞胎还糟糕
You know, it's even worse when you're twins.
- 你是双胞胎？ - 对，我们不说话
- You're a twin? - Oh, yeah. We don't speak.
她是位高权重的霸道女强人
She's like this high-powered, driven, career-type.
- 她做什么样的工作？ - 她是服务生
- What does she do? - She's a waitress.
好了，各位，我必须打扫
All right. You guys, I kind of gotta clean up now.
钱德，你是独生子 你不必忍受这一切
Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
不，但我有个幻想的朋友
Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend...
我爸妈比较喜欢他
...who my parents actually preferred.
请关灯
RACHEL: Hit the lights, please.
我在厕所待了多久
How long was I in there?
我只是在打扫
I'm just cleaning up.
你需要帮忙吗
Oh, do you, uh...? Do you need any help?
当然，谢谢
Um, okay, sure. Thanks.
总之…
Anyway...
你很紧张明天要跟贝瑞见面？
So you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
有一点
- Oh, a little. - Mm-hm.
非常紧张
- A lot. - Mm-hm.
你有任何建议吗
So got any advice?
毕竟你有被甩的经验
You know, as someone who's recently been dumped.
你该避免用〝甩〞这个字
Well, you may want to steer clear of the word "dumped."
他很可能心都碎了，你懂吗？
Chances are he's going to be this broken shell of a man. You know?
你不能看起来太漂亮 我知道那很难
So you should try not to look too terrific. I know it'll be hard.
或是由我过去把戒指还给贝瑞
Or, you know, hey, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring.
你陪卡萝跟苏珊去看妇产科
And you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB-GYN.
明天你得去陪卡萝
You've got Carol tomorrow.
何时世界变得这么复杂？
When did it get so complicated?
你问倒我了
Got me.
- 还记得我们念高中的时候吗？ - 对
- Remember when we were in high school? - Yeah.
你不觉得你会遇上某人
I mean, didn't you think you' were gonna meet someone...
坠入爱河，就这样过了一生吗？
...fall in love, and that'd be it?
- 罗斯 - 没错
- Ross? - Yes, yes.
天啊，我没想到我会落到这步田地
Oh. Man. I never thought I'd be here.
我也是
Me neither.
抱歉我迟到了，我有工作在忙
Hi. Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work.
关于这个大恐龙，总之…
There was this big dinosaur thing. Anyway...
嗨
Hi.
- 罗斯，你记得苏珊 - 我怎么会忘记呢？
- Ross, you remember Susan. - How could I forget?
罗斯
Ross.
苏珊，握手力道蛮不错的
Hello, Susan. Good shake, good shake.
我们在等…
So, uh, we're just waiting for?
- 欧伯曼医生 - 欧伯曼医生，他是…
- Dr. Oberman. - Dr. Oberman. Okay, and is he...?
- 是她才对 - 当然，是她才对
- She. - Of course, "she."
她知道我们的特殊状况吗？
She, uh, familiar with our special situation?
对，她非常支持我们
Yes, and she's very supportive.
太棒了，那是件好事
Great. Okay, that's great. Heh.
不，我…
No, I'm...
谢谢
CAROL: Thanks.
呱…
Quack, quack...
呱…
...quack, quack, quack.
罗斯
Ross?
那是用来打开我的子宫颈
That opens my cervix.
- 贝瑞 - 请进
- Barry? - Come on in.
你确定吗？
Are you sure?
没关系，罗比得在这里待上几小时
BARRY: It's fine, it's fine. Robbie's gonna be here for hours.
嗯？
Huh?
你还好吧？
So how are you doing?
我…
I'm...
我很好
I'm okay.
你气色很不错
You look great.
没错
Yeah, well...
巴巴尔医生 杰森·葛林斯潘笑个不停
RECEPTIONIST : Dr. Farber, Jason Greenspan's gagging.
马上到，我立刻回来
Be right there. I'll be back in a second.
我甩了他
I dumped him.
好吧
Okay.
哦
Oh!
- 罗斯 - 这应该怎么做才好？
- Ross. - So, um...? So how's this going to work...
我是说我们
...ahem, you know, with us?
譬如说得做出重要决定时
You know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
举个例子来听听
Give me a "for instance."
我不知道，好吧
Well, I don't know. Okay, okay.
- 宝宝的名字呢？ - 马龙
- How about with the baby's name? - Marlon...
- 马龙 - 如果是儿子，女子就叫米妮
- Marlon. ...if it's a boy. Minnie, if it's a girl.
跟米妮老鼠一样？
As in "Mouse"?
跟我奶奶一样？
As in my grandmother.
但提到米妮，大家会想到米妮老鼠
Still, you say "Minnie," you hear "Mouse."
何不叫…
How about, um...
何不叫茱莉亚呢？
How about "Julia"?
茱莉亚？
Julia.
我们同意叫米妮了
We agreed on Minnie.
那真的很有趣 我们同意要共度一生
It's funny, um, we agreed we'd spend our lives together.
事情变了，我们可以用拳头来决定
Things change. Roll with the punches.
我相信茱莉亚是个好名字
I believe Julia's on the table.
对不起
Oh. Sorry about that.
你还好吧？
So, what have you been up to?
还算可以
Oh. Not much.
- 我找到工作了 - 那真的很棒
- I got a job. - Hey, that's great.
为什么你皮肤变得这么黑？
Why are you so tan?
我…
Oh, I, uh...
我去了阿鲁巴
I went to Aruba.
不，你一个人去度我们的蜜月？
Oh, no. You went on our honeymoon alone?
不
No.
听着，我跟…
See, uh, I went with...
- 这或许会有点痛 - 我吗？
- Now, this may hurt. - Me?
不是
No.
我跟敏蒂去的
I went with Mindy.
敏蒂？
Mindy?
我的伴娘敏蒂？
My maid of honor, Mindy?
对，我们在交往
Yeah, well, we're kind of a thing now.
我…
Well, I'm...
你做了植发
You got plugs.
小心，它们还没有完全固定
Careful, careful. They haven't quite taken yet.
你戴了隐形眼镜
And you got lenses.
你讨厌把手指戳到眼睛里
But you hate sticking your finger in your eye.
为了她，没关系的
Not for her.
哦
Oh.
听着，我真的想谢谢你
Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
好的
Okay.
一个月前我想伤害你
About a month ago, I wanted to hurt you...
你是我最想伤害的人
...more than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life.
我是牙齿矫正师
And I'm an orthodontist.
哇
Wow.
你说得对，我以为我们很快乐
You know, you were right. I mean, I thought we were happy.
我们不快乐
We weren't happy.
可是跟敏蒂在一起
But with Mindy...
现在我很快乐
...now I'm happy.
- 吐吧 - 什么？
- Spit. - What?
是我
Me.
总之…
Anyway, um...
我想这该还给你
I guess, uh... I guess this belongs to you.
谢谢你把它送给我
And thank you for giving it to me.
谢谢你把它还给我
Well, thank you for giving it back.
哈罗
Hello.
拜托，海伦有什么不好？
Oh, please. What's wrong with Helen?
海伦·盖勒？
Helen Geller?
- 我不觉得好 - 哈罗，宝宝不叫海伦·盖勒
- I don't think so. - Hello, it's not gonna be Helen Geller.
谢谢
Thank you.
不，我是说宝宝不姓盖勒
No. I mean, it's not Geller.
什么？宝宝叫海伦·威利克？
What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?
不，事实上她叫海伦·威利克·邦奇
No, actually, um, we talked about Helen Willick Bunch.
等一下，为什么这跟她有关？
Well, wait a minute. Why is she in the title?
因为这也是我的宝宝
Because it's my baby too.
那太好笑了，真的吗？ 我不记得你会制造
That's funny. Really? I don't remember you making any sperm.
我们都知道那是个多大的挑战
And we all know what a challenge that is.
- 看吧 - 好了，你们两个，别说了
- Uh-huh. See? - All right, you two, stop it.
不，她有功劳，我也是
No, no. She gets a credit. Hey, I'm in there too.
说真的，宝宝不能叫 海伦·威利克·邦奇·盖勒
Honestly. You're not actually suggesting Helen Willick Bunch Geller.
我想那跟虐童差不多
I think that borders on child abuse.
当然不是 我想宝宝叫盖勒·威利克·邦奇
Of course not. I'm suggesting Geller Willick Bunch.
不，你知道他在做什么吗？
Oh, no. No, no, no. You see what he's doing?
他知道没有人会那样叫她
He knows no one is gonna say all those names.
最后他们会叫她盖勒 那样子他就达到目的了
He knows they'll wind up calling her Geller. Then he gets his way.
我的目的？你觉得这是我的目的？
My way? You think this is my way?
相信我，目前我想像过的生活
Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being...
绝对不包括这一点 你知道吗？这真的太难了
...this is not my way. You know what? This is too hard.
还好吗？有恶心的感觉吗？
Knock, knock. How are we today? Any nausea?
- 有一点 - 只有一点
- A little. - Just a little.
我是指准妈妈的感觉 不过谢谢你们跟我分享
Well, I was just wondering about the mother-to-be, but, uh, thanks for sharing.
躺好
Uh, lie back.
你知道吗？我要走了
You know what? I'm gonna go.
我想我无法介入这种家务事
Um, I don't think I can be involved in this particular family thing.
天啊
Oh, my God.
看看那个
Look at that.
我知道
I know.
那真的很神奇吧？
Well, isn't that amazing?
我们到底要看什么？
What are we supposed to be seeing here?
我不知道 我想那跟攻击企业号有关
I don't know, but I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
如果你们的头往左斜，眼睛放轻松
You know, if you tilt your head to the left and relax your eyes...
它看起来像颗马铃薯
...it kind of looks like an old potato.
别那么做，好吗？
Then don't do that, all right?
摩妮卡
Monica?
你觉得呢？
What do you think?
嗯-哼
Mm-hm.
你哭了吗？
Are you welling up?
- 不 - 才怪
- No. - You are.
- 才怪，你哭了 - 不，我才没有
- You are. You're welling up. - No, I'm not.
- 你要当姑姑了 - 闭嘴
- You're gonna be an aunt. - Oh, shut up.
敏蒂
Hi, Mindy.
我是瑞秋
Hi, it's Rachel.
对，我很好，今天我跟贝瑞见面
Yeah, I'm fine. I saw Barry today.
对，他跟我说了
Oh, yeah, yeah, he told me.
不，没关系，真的
No, it's okay. Really, it's okay.
我希望你们两个快乐，真的
I hope you two are very happy. I really do.
小敏，如果一切顺利
And, Min, you know, if everything works out...
你们会结婚生孩子
...and you guys end up getting married and having kids and everything...
我希望他们遗传了他的发线 跟你的鼻子
...I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose.
好吧，我知道那么做很低级 但现在我觉得痛快多了
Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
